Geography lesson

I finally got to see the map – it’s hidden so you don’t glimpse it in reception when you arrive. No wonder they hide it!

Those cliffs of Self-Harm and Suicide I was warned about – what a surprise, I must say. They are precipitous drops, with sharp teeth of rocks at the base, flinty needles that jut upwards dangerously. You’d be unlikely to survive if you slipped over the edge.

I shouldn’t have given up geography at 13, though. You don’t get a bog at the top of a cliff, do you? This whole area is called Rock Bottom. The district to the west is called just Rock and the area to the east is called Hard Place. There’s no risk of slipping over those cliffs – they soar upwards from here.

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