No surrender

Someone is digging the ground away from under my feet. Can’t I even be allowed control of my own responses? How many people have to undermine me?

And who do I surrender to? If I want it all to stop now, if I want to give in and say, yes, you all win, I will be as destroyed as you want me to be, who do I wave the white flag at?


2 Responses to “No surrender”

  1. You put it so well. I remember the white flag feeling – who do I wave it at? But I never managed to express these things at the time, or not nearly as well as you do. That’s why I admire you so much for doing this blog.

    But a correction – we don’t all want you to be destroyed. I’m sure I speak for many others when I say we want you to get better and be happy. Sorry if that sounds cheeky when I don’t know youy except from your blog – but it’s true.

  2. Thank you, Ros. And not at all cheeky. I am very pleased that you like the blog. I started it because I needed to know I could still write – and a target of 4 lines of publicly-visible writing a day didn’t seem too hard a target. It kept me going through the worst and now I am writing my next novel. It may not be very good – will have to see how it comes out before I tell my publisher about it – but at least I am doing it, which is good. Can’t afford to lose my career as well as everything else.

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