Archive for October, 2010

Meeting Dr Johnson in the Slough

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 27, 2010 by abandonata

‘I am now to review the last year, and find little but dismal vacuity, neither business nor pleasure.’

Samuel Johnson, Prayers and Meditations

I agree heartily with his sentiment. We will stroll together for a while.

Demons at the edges

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 19, 2010 by abandonata

They are creeping back, her demons, poking their long fingers and noses out of the shadows. They latch onto me as I try to keep them away from her.

Should never have given her that demon email address at birth. baby@……demon.co.uk – asking for trouble.

The space where things aren’t

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on October 16, 2010 by abandonata

Bruce Nauman, Rachel Whiteread, Cornelia Parker – ‘evoke the hole of melancholia; an emptiness that has become massive, unavoidable and omnipresent’.

Which is why RW and CP were ‘our’ artists.

Elliptical orbit

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on October 15, 2010 by abandonata

Q: What is where the sun isn’t?

I still have my sun, but my not-sun is empty. Kepler knew all about it.

A: Nothing. It is a virtual focus, a mirage, a construct of the actions of other bodies. Only the orbit exists.

 

A&E

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 14, 2010 by abandonata

You get hurt; you go to A&E; they tell you you’re hurt; they poke you around until it hurts more; they tell you what’s wrong and that in time it will get better (or not); they send you home. And it still hurts. My life is lived in A&E, one thing after another shredding every fibre of my being.

Enough, world.

A game of doctors and nurses

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 13, 2010 by abandonata

Another play date with my Slough probation officer. If I let her see the true depth of my wounds she says I have to stay here. So I play the game her way, hiding the worst injuries under muslin (she never looks underneath), and crying out as she probes the slighter injuries.

Maybe one day she’ll drop the key.

Arbeit macht frei

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 9, 2010 by abandonata

Why, when people recommend burying yourself in work to escape from anguish and trauma, do they never quite say ‘arbeit macht frei’, even though it is exactly what they mean?

Excuse me if I am wary of going in there.